Privacy
by cassette tape
Summary: FACEBOOK LAYOUT/STORY. Finn's hungry, Jesse's stalking and Santana's out to prove Kurt is not so innocent. You would think the glee club shenanigans would end in, well, glee club.


**I know there are plenty of these but I reeeally wanted to give it a shot. I've never written in this style before so hopefully you guys enjoy it! ****THIS GOES IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER****, not like a normal news feed, but feel free to read from the bottom to top. I just really want the ending to be like that. Don't own Glee/Facebook.**

**Blaine Anderson** The awkward moment when your boyfriend's dad walks in on you both doing... stuff.

** Santana Lopez** and **Mike Chang **like this

**Santana Lopez** stuff = sex

**Kurt Hummel** Blaine, really? Does this need to be public?

**Santana Lopez** he's not denying it

**Blaine Anderson** ;)

**Kurt Hummel** SANTANA NO ONE INVITED YOU.

**Finn Frankenteen Hudson** oh so that's why Burt was yelling

* * *

><p><strong>Brittany S. Pierce<strong> elvis isn't dead. saw him at wal mart.

**Finn Frankenteen Hudson** i knew it!

* * *

><p><strong>Brittany S. Pierce <strong>likes** Elvis lives on **and** I'll love my cat until I die**

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><p><strong>Mike Chang <strong>dancing tonight with the prettiest girl in the world (:

**Tina Cohen Chang** aw I can't wait! 3

**Noah The Man Puckerman** i'm blushing

**Mike Chang** no words puck

* * *

><p><strong>Rachel Berry <strong>is friends with** Jesse St. James**

** Jesse St. James **like this

**Finn Frankenteen Hudson **um…

**Mercedes Jones **berry I swear on everything I own

**Quinn Fabray** Well this isn't a shock.

**Mike Chang **EW!

**Rachel Berry **I would highly appreciate if you all dealt with this maturely. Jesse and I are simply friends. Also Mike, Jesse isn't ew!

**Mike Chang **you're ew

**Brittany S. Pierce **mr shue's son is back?

**Santana Lopez **brittany…

**Jesse St. James **Mike's jealous of my dancing. We all know I can move

better than him.

**Tina Cohen-Chang **HEY

**Mike Chang** DON'T EVEN

* * *

><p><strong>Finn Frankenteen Hudson ► Rachel Berry <strong>i need to talk to you :/

**Jesse St. James **Ooooooh.

**Rachel Berry **Jesse! Stop stalking my page. Finn, call me**.**

* * *

><p><strong>Noah The Man Puckerman<strong> likes **MILFs**

**Quinn Fabray **I can't believe I dated you…

**Rachel Berry **Seconded!

**Mercedes Jones **preach

**Noah The Man Puckerman** i accidentally liked that page, okay?

**Lauren Zizies** You best have accidentally liked that page

**Noah The Man Puckerman** shit

Noah The Man Puckerman i love you lauren

**Lauren Zizies **You're lucky you're pretty.

** Noah The Man Pucker****man **;) ;)

* * *

><p><strong>Rachel Berry<strong> I LOVE JESSE ST. JAMES!

**Jesse St. James** Love you too Rachel.

* * *

><p><strong>Rachel Berry<strong> HE IS THE BEST SINGER EVER!

**Jesse St. James** Sweet, but this is obvious.

* * *

><p><strong>Rachel Berry<strong> HE IS ALSO GREAT IN THE SACK.

**Jesse St. James** ACCURATE.

**Finn Frankenteen Hudson** UM WHAT :/

**Rachel Berry** HACK. How dare you, Jesse! Calling you now Finn!

* * *

><p><strong>Rachel Berry<strong> Does not appreciate being framed.

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt Hummel<strong> Shopping – with **Blaine Anderson** at **Lima Mall**

** Mercedes Jones, Sam Evans **and** Mike Chang ****l**ike this

**Finn Frankenteen Hudson** buy me food i'm sad ):

**Kurt Hummel **No.

**Finn Frankenteen Hudson **a year ago you'd be on your knees for me!

**Blaine Anderson **WHAT?

**Kurt Hummel **Finn! I was actually considering getting you food but that

ship has definitely sailed.

**Santana Lopez **ahahahahaha!

**Kurt Hummel **Not funny Santana

** Brittany S. Pierce ****you're on a ship?**

**Finn Frankenteen Hudson **whoops bad choice of words

**Finn Franketnteen Hudson **no please get me mcdonalds

**Kurt Hummel **No.

**Blaine Anderson **Kurt get out of the dressing room so we can talk about this please.

**Santana Lopez **or blaine you should go in and get it out of him

** Santana Lopez** and by that i mean get in him

** Kurt Hummel** I'm trying on clothes

** Blaine Anderson** Liar

** Finn Frankenteen Hudson** kurt get me food PLEASEEE

** Finn Frankenteen Hudson** please please please

** Finn Hudson** ….. kurt?

* * *

><p><strong>Finn Frankenteen Hudson<strong> likes the group **Being the better looking step brother.**

* * *

><p><strong>Finn Frankenteen Hudson<strong> took the **how hungry are you?** quiz and got Very Hungry! Why aren't you eating?

**Finn Frankenteen Hudson** because kurt's lazy!

**Rachel Berry** I'll make you food, Finn! More banana bread?

**Finn Frankenteen Hudson** still mad at you rach

**Rachel Berry** Can we talk?

**Finn Frankenteen Hudson** yeah okay, come over in an hour?

**Finn Frankenteen Hudson** and bring food please

* * *

><p><strong>Tina Cohen Chang<strong> **► Finn Frankenteen Hudson ****stop clogging my news feed with posts about food!**

Finn Frankenteen Hudson sorry :D

* * *

><p><strong>Santana Lopez<strong> confused about a lot of things because of a certain someone...

**Quinn Fabray** Tell me about it...

**Britanny S. Pierce** you should both talk to my cat

**Quinn Fabray** I'll pass

**Britaany S. Pierce** ):

**Quinn Fabray **

* * *

><p><strong>Sam Exans<strong> why are girls soooo confusing? :/

**Quinn Fabray** Wonder who this is about...

**Sam Evans** whooooo ego (;

**Quinn Fabray** You love it. Calling you in five, okay?

**Sam Evans **cool

* * *

><p><strong>Finn Frankenteen Hudson <strong>loves his girlfriend!

**Rachel Berry** Love you too! Let's watch Grease!

**Kurt Hummel** Will you be wearing a cat suit?

**Rachel Berry** Rude!

**Finn Frankenteen** **Hudson** please don't wear it rachel

**Lauren Zizies** Yeah Rachel, please.

* * *

><p><strong>Quinn Fabray<strong> and **Sam Evans** are now in a relationship

** Kurt Hummel**, **Tina Cohen Chang** and **16 others** like this

**Artie Abrams** get that ass sam!

**Sam Evans** hahaha thanks bro

**Quinn Fabray** Artie, you are a gentleman. And Sam, not for a long time.

**Artie Abrams** reason why brittany is with me!

**Brittany S. Pierce** it's also because his glasses feel cool against my face when we kiss

**Brittany S. Pierce **and because artie likes to watch cat videos on youtube with me

** Brittany S. Pierce** like this one .com/watch?v=nTasT5h0LEg

**Artie Abrams** aw britt (:

**Sam Evans** haha weirdest couple ever.

**Sam Evans** and yeah okay quinn (;

**Quinn Fabray** I'm being serious.

**Sam Evans** suuuure

**Sam Evans **wait what

**Mercedes Jones** lonely :/ needs a boyfriend or something.

** Kurt Hummel **Call me boo! I love you.

** Jesse St. James **I can fix that (;

** Kurt Hummel **I will kill you if you touch her.

** Jesse St. James **Would very much like to see that

** Mercedes Jones **BOYS CALM DOWN. calling you soon kurt, gotta do homework first. love you too!

** Finn Frankenteen Hudson **stop stalk people's profiles jesse

** Kurt Hummel **I'll be waiting!

** Blaine Anderson **I can hook you up!

** Jesse St. James **HELLO. What about me?

** Blaine Anderson **Go away.

**Jesse St. James** You don't even know me.

** Blaine Anderson **Kurt told me you were a douche

**Jesse St. James** Well then...

**Kurt Hummel** No one likes you Jesse. And Blaine, Wes is single!

**Blaine Anderson** Perfect! Double Date!

**Jesse St. James** Rejection hurts.

**Finn Frankenteen Hudson** sucks to be you Jesse

* * *

><p><strong>Finn Frankenteen Hudson<strong> likes **teasing** **boys with girls names.**

**Brittany S. Pierce** don't be mean to sam

* * *

><p><strong>Rachel Berry<strong> Who else is ready for another exciting year of glee club?

**Noah The Man Puckerman** sooo gonna win this year!

**Kurt Hummel** With Blaine there's no way to lose.

**Blaine Anderson **So true.

**Rachel Berry** Blaine, would you like to do a duet for glee when it starts? Finn and I never got to sing Don't Go Breaking My Heart.

**Kurt Hummel** No he wouldn't.

**Blaine Anderson** Also true.

**Finn Frankenteen Hudson** yeah rach and me were gonna sing that before we decided to take a dive for duets

**Sam Evans** huh

**Santana Lopez** knew it! no one's dumb enough to throw on a preist and school girl costume

**Tina Cohen Chang** new low for the both of you. and by that i mean rachel

**Mike Chang** WOW

**Finn Frankenteen Hudson** oops. sorry rachel

**Rachel Berry **I still love you 3 Let go of the past, guys! And for those worried about the Jesse St. James love triangle: it's all worked out.

**Quinn Fabray** No one was worried. And I still want to punch you both because of that duet.

* * *

><p><strong>Artie Abrams<strong> don't stop believing just came on shuffle. memories!

**Finn Frankenteen Hudson** remember the VERY first time we sang that with the first glee members

**Rachel Berry** Flashback! What a great day that was for glee club.

**Kurt Hummel** More like you and Finn. We just sang back up, remember?

**Mercedes Jones** all i remember was rachel's god awful outfit

**Kurt Hummel **Reason why you're my best friend!

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt Hummel<strong> Can't decide on our couple name. Klaine or Kurt CoBlaine?

**Mercedes Jones** and **Rachel Berry** like this

**Blaine Anderson** Why are you first in both of them?

**Kurt Hummel** Because I wear the pants in this relationship.

**Blaine Anderson** You weren't last night.

**Santana Lopez** SLUTS!

* * *

><p><strong>Santana Lopez<strong> is wondering if Kurt Hummel is as innocent as he makes himself out to be...

**Blaine Anderson** I can answer this with a series of photos

**Santana Lopez** inbox!

**Kurt Hummel** I will sue you both.

**Blaine Anderson** Sure you will honey.

**Kurt Hummel **My dad has a flamethrower.

**Blaine Anderson** ... Shit.

* * *

><p><strong>Tina Cohen Chang<strong> misses when she had just her parents as friends on facebook


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